Family Law Blog

Can My Ex Lose Custody Of Her Children Because I Moved Out?

Judge angry over child custody fight

This question arises from a situation where an ex-husband threatened to go after custody of the children because the wife’s new partner was thinking of separating and moving out.  The ex-husband said that his ex-wife (the mother of the children) was not providing sufficient stability to the children.

There are specific factors that judges must consider when deciding custody cases.  You can read about them here.  One of the factors is the "stability of the family unit in which the child is to live."  Where a parent has multiple partners, or is always changing partners, or has a "transient lifestyle" - meaning that the parent changes homes frequently - that can have an impact on whether a judge decides to change custody.  However, as you can see from that page, there are several other factors that the judge considers as well.   The decision is based on what is overall in the best interest of the child.  The strength of the connection with each parent, and the stability for the child in NOT changing homes are also factors the judge will consider.  Generally, if the children are doing well in a home, and have been there for some time, judges are reluctant to move things around in case it makes things worse.  But, a LOT depends on the particular factors of the case, so your partner should see a good family lawyer to get answers that are specific to her case.

Ontario Family Law Podcast - Episode 23 - Why You Need a Last Will and Testament

One thing you should be consider, is whether you will have a child support obligation to your ex-partners kids.  To learn about that,
listen to this podcast. You may want to speak to a family lawyer as well.

Lots of people
make avoidable family law mistakes because they do not know enough about how family law impacts their lives. You can get a lot more information about Ontario Family Law issues, including a further explanation of family court process by downloading this $9.99 e-book for Kindle, Kobo, or iPad/iPhone/Mac or ordering the paperback version.  But, to keep out of trouble, it is always best to speak with a good family law lawyer.  

Certified Specialist in Family Law, John Schuman, has extensive experience helping many people in difficult child custody (and other family law) cases.  Contact him right now by emailing him, calling 416-446-5847 or using the contact form below.  We respond promptly to all inquiries. You can also use the contact form to comment on this page.

If you found this page interesting or informative, please share it on your social network using the buttons at the bottom of the page.

Should I See A Lawyer Before Going to Family Law Mediation? Or, Do I Wait Until After?

Family Mediation

Mediation is an excellent option for many separating couples to work out the issues between them in separation and divorce. The goal is always to get to a separation agreement that addresses all the issues, or a court order.  But, the court order route is much more difficult - emotionally and financially - and expensive.  Mediation may not work well where there has been domestic violence, substance abuse, mental illness, a strong desire to destroy the other spouse, or a serious power imbalance.                                       

Watch the video below for a thorough explanation of family mediation, how it works and what you need to know and do:

Even when you are proceeding with mediation, which is an excellent choice for most people, you should see a lawyer first and have a lawyer's assistance throughout the processHere is an article that explains whyBut to summarize here are the three main reasons:

Guide to the Basics of Ontario Family Law - 4th edition cover
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  1. How much do you know about the specifics of family and how they apply to your situation?  Not much?  (Don't rely on rumours you have heard, they are often wrong.)  If you think you do not a lot, immediately download e-book on Ontario Family Law for Kindle, iPad/iPhone or Kobo and find out.   Most people do not know much and make many common mistakesYou need to go into mediation knowing how the law applies to you and what is your best outcome and worst outcome if you went to court instead you know your "settlement range."  When you or your spouse see a lawyer after mediation (see the next point) you don't want to find out then that you have a "bad deal" that you should throw out and start from scratch.  Making informed decisions through mediation leads to better and more lasting results.
  2.  Section 56(4) of Ontario's Family Law Act says that the Family Courts can ignore or completely discard a separation agreement if either party does not "understand it."  And the Family Courts have also said that almost everyone needs to see a lawyer to fully understand a legal contract - especially complicated ones. So, whenever judges look at separation agreements, including ones for people who went to mediation, they always look first to see whether the parties each had independent legal advice.
  3. When you are hiring a mediator, you are hiring that person to get you and your spouse to settlement - not to give you legal advice or to get the best settlement for you.  Some people are unreasonable and they will only settle if they "get everything".  In that case, the mediator may only be able to get you to that settlement, and it might not be the right one for you.  At the same time, mediators are not permitted to give the parties legal advice.  There may be a big difference between what you should get under the law and the possible settlements at mediation.  You need the advice of a lawyer to know.

You can attend mediations with a lawyer.  Some mediators even require it because they want each spouse to know what they are doing and there is no need for the parties to "think about" any proposed settlement with their lawyer.  That may get the agreement finalized at the mediation.  If you have hired the right lawyer, then he or she will assist you in resolving things quickly and without any concerns regarding changes in the future.   A lawyer will also assist by making sure you do not have “buyer’s remorse” over a deal you agreed to at mediation, but which does not seem so good the next day.

In addition, most lawyers do not like to waste time (and your money) at mediation. So they get everything that the mediator and the parties need to settle the case together before the mediation - such as financial disclosure.  Then you may get the mediation completed in one or two sessions and you will not have mediation sessions discussing "what has to be done next.”

Some people go to mediation without a lawyer to save money.  That is possible too - but speaking to a lawyer first is a good idea for the reasons set out above.  You may also want to speak to your lawyer by phone during the mediation. If you reach a settlement, and your lawyer is not there, you will need to go back and speak to your lawyer to get Independent Legal Advice and to draft up the separation agreement. (Mediators are not allowed to draft separation agreements either.)

And if you are thinking about mediation as way to resolve matters without conflict, you may also want to look into Collaborative Practice, which is another process that many people like to use after divorce.

To find out more about your process options in separation and divorce, and to learn a lot about the basics of Ontario Family Law, you can download the excellent e-book referenced above, or get it as a paperback

Ontario Family Law Podcast - Episode 23 - Why You Need a Last Will and Testament

You are off to the right start by asking about your options in separation and divorce. (Check out this podcast for more about your options.)  Assuming you have to go to court, or give your spouse everything, often gets people going down the wrong path.  But, making the right first decisions will make your easier now and in the long run.

Certified Specialist in Family Law, John Schuman, is both a lawyer and a mediator. So, you can ask him to either help you and your spouse work things out, or you can ask him for advice on family law, mediation, and how best to resolve your case.  Booking a consultation for advice means you will get answers specific to your situation.  To get John’s help, either as a lawyer or a mediator, call 416-446-4036, email him, or use the contact form below.  We respond promptly to all inquiries.  If you are asking about mediation, please provide the contact information for both you and your spouse so that we can do the necessary intake and screening steps.

If you found this page helpful, please share it on your social network using the buttons at the bottom of the page.  You can comment on this page using the contact form below.


Jo-Anne Fiore, BA, CFP, RRC, FDS

Absolutely agree, that mediation without some kind of lawyer interaction or communication can be very unproductive and wasteful. In my mediations,if the parties do not have a lawyer from the start, when we finish compiling the financial disclosure they are told that no further mediation sessions will take place unless they seek legal advice around their right and obligations. I will also find times during the mediation where clients will need to go back out and speak with their lawyers again to review their position and the reasonableness of what they are suggesting. This keeps all the parties well informed focused and more committed to the outcome they then choose to agree to.

As I always say, efficient use of all your dollars on those people needed at the different times creates the best outcome, whether they be lawyers, family professionals, valuators or therapist.


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